In my coaching, I often talk about the power of small gestures to reshape our perception. I've seen it create massive changes in my life. Same for clients. Full on vibe shifts.

Something as unassuming as lighting a candle, or buying a new sweater, can serve as profoundly meaningful signal of safety, success and self-worth which then snowballs in the best way. Because the deeper, subconscious parts of us, which truly drive behavioural + healing outcomes, don't transform through "knowledge" or words alone. They transform through repeated actions and meaningful environmental shifts.

Sarah Reilly puts it well…

"What if I told you that the key to rewiring yourself for the life you truly want is hidden in the smallest, easiest decisions you make every day? Not only do aesthetic challenges communicate deeper programs that need updating but because we wear clothes every day, making easy changes to the way someone adorns themself can be an efficient way to rewire someone's identity and trigger massive success in every area of their life."

I met Sarah in a referral group a couple years back. She is an absolute gun in the world of high performance coaching — a scarily competent, very switched on coach in the realms of the subconscious. Yet what I love is, she's equally grounded in the art of creating inspiring, satisfying moment-to-moment experiences — using personal style.

I’ve been really leaning into this lately, upgrading some old tattered clothes that perhaps carry too many memories of harder times!

Not so much to 'dress for success' or improving my first impression. I've tried that and I only felt smaller.

As much as I love rocking a mullet, the truth is I get more of my kicks from not following trends.

Still vain, but my flavour of vain.

"What is the difference between fashion and style? Fashion says, 'Me, too,' and style, 'Only me.'" — Geraldine Stutz

"Fashion is what you're offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose." — Lauren Hutton

"Fashion you can buy, but style you possess." — Iris Apfel

You get the point.

Style is about falling in love with the process of being who you want to be. When you wear that thing that makes you feel good, and lets you move and groove through life the way you want to. And everyone has their own style, though for some of us it's dormant (usually because we've forgotten parts of ourselves that we actually love).

Sarah’s guest-coaching in the Attuned Membership on the 18th so if you’re keen to come along, sign up.

A month of membership is cheaper than most once-off workshops of this calibre, and you’ll get access to a bunch of really solid programs too.

Personally I can be intense, on-the-spectrum philosopher who goes insane when my life doesn’t revolve around physical training, music, and interactive, embodied problem solving (climbing, martial arts etc). In order to feel I’m not negating a key aspect of who I am, I make my simple day-to-day tasks as vibey as possible with little sensory pleasures. Under-stimulation can be a drainer for the modern human.

Clothes, candles, music, dog pats, time outside or in interesting spaces.

The more fun I make it to be me, the better my life gets. The more prolific I become. The more I love people and want to create. And dressing in comfy, functional, slightly off-the-wall but still-a-little-bit-cool outfits does a lot for me.

For a 4-5 years now, my blue (or black) Jiu Jitsu Gi pants have been a staple. My new (old) lost property merino long sleeve, and my wooly nordic pattern socks are incredible new additions. My favourite shoes? My steel toe Blundstone work boots without the insoles. These boots are actually wider in the toe than most barefoot shoes and (the fucking sell-outs make them narrower every season because people wanna look “normal”.)

Why no in-soles in the Blunnies?

Makes them sturdy and stable for lifting and manual work rather than squidgey
Makes them zero drop which means that the shoe’s heel is no higher than the toe (in fact I think the toe becomes marginally higher)
Means I can run faster and change direction in them when I’m running with the dog and low-key-shadow-fighting-dancing

If you’re a biomechanics nerd, you’ll know that a shoe lower in the heel (like track spikes for sprinting) creates higher relative loads through the forefoot, mid foot and calves, and the ability to run faster.

I want to be able to run fast but with the element of surprise… Have wide, roomy toe boxes without looking like a duck… And have protected toes while looking badass. With the nice wooly socks in there too? Ooft.

When Quin (fiancé) bought me my first pair of good socks in a while, I saw the light and committed to never having damp, cold, sweaty feet in shit socks again… And it's significantly altered my day to day experience of life.

Style is what helps you feel more you, in the best way. It's what reminds you that you care about your own wellbeing, and have real, important desires. And let's cut the holier-than-thou bullshit. Vanity, wellbeing and doing great work can absolutely go together. In fact, healthy, integrated narcissism is what prevents full on self-obsession and self-destruction.

It’s one ingredient in confidence and self-respect, which makes us better people to be around.

Beauty and function are so symbiotic. Interwoven.

And when the PROCESS feels fruitful, the results take care of themselves. IMO it’s highly functional to do whatever the fuck you want in these realms where the rules are so silly anyway. Because life is not about ticking a box. It's about awakening to the fact you only have one, and it's YOUR canvas to create with.

Man, I really embraced the vanity the other day. The down-lighting in the climbing annex was epic and I found this piece of equipment that no other gyms have. Got to admire my forearm pump in the mirror between sets… something I haven’t done for a while.

Result? A little happier. A little more stoked to keep showing up.

We should leverage all motivation sources, because motivation is finite and so is life. Discipline is good and necessary, but when you add fun to that, it takes you places discipline (alone) can't.

Example:

I did a ligament injury a few years back on a QDR (a one arm hand balance move) so whenever my grip strength de-conditions — because I haven't been prioritising climbing or hand balance — I notice it most on that wrist. The more desire (reward) I can add to my training process, the faster I’ll restore and surpass my previous strength levels. The prospect of being able to hit harder climbs motivates me, but so does the prospect of bursting through the skin of my wrists with a phat pump and build thick, sculpted forearms again. Being sexy. You know what helps? The mirror. The down-lighting. The rolled up sleeves.

Strategically integrating a movement goal with our innate human drive for status, pleasure or the experience of beauty is absolutely a good idea.

Beauty and function don’t just overlap in life… each contains and is made of the other.

Frank Lloyd Wright: "Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union."

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

Steve Jobs: "Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works."

Leonardo da Vinci: "Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature, because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous."

Fine art. Nature. We’re wired to be attracted to certain ratios and proportions. There is mathematical and energetic perfection in the things that make us feel.

And it’s the same in the realms of movement.

Biomechanical mastery plus repeated loading creates a signature we can see imprinted into the structure of a physique. It's awesome. Olympic diving. Pole vaulters. Decathletes. Incredible bodies. And if you want to see beautifully formed hands and forearms, you don’t need tickets to see Michelangelo’s David. Just work a day with a stone-mason or find people who climb.

Move towards beauty if you care about functionality.

Move towards what’s fun and sparks joy if you want to become all you can be. The process will require immense amounts of love, not force.

Style, The Subconscious + Identity Creation