Dying without regrets AND being practical.

Yep, an emotive title for an emotive topic. But what I’ve realised is that the ‘no regrets’ philosophy done right, is quite pragmatic. It’s not a YOLO rushing towards shiny shit which leaves you exhausted and demotivated… Living with no regrets means both ‘getting after it’ and taking one’s time.

Before I started teaching, training and movement practice used to be purely an outlet for me. My work, home-life and studies were unrelated to my training. I wasn’t a coach, but an athlete/enthusiast when I started out in 2011. Money never came into the picture. All I cared about was building my self-esteem and emotional resolve by building physical strength and power. I didn’t have instagram so the identity game (who will I become?) wasn’t saturated with so many potential paths. There was no analysis paralysis - I just showed up at the gym, trained intuitively with a few key movements and recorded my efforts on my phone, and it worked better (over those few years) than any program I’ve had. I didn’t think about the process much, which was great because it allowed me to be in my body and enjoy the journey. But I only got away with that because I didn’t have the responsibility of paying for the roof over my head. “No regrets” can only be a sound philosophy if it can also be adopted by those with significant responsibility and limited resources.

I’m telling you a bit about my story in order to explore how the “no regrets” philosophy can be used to create a great life, realistically. What I’ve found is that there is an ongoing pull towards (seemingly) easy short term rewards which I have to ignore so that I can focus on what is difficult but rewarding long-term. I became a coach/teacher 6 years ago and since then, I’ve had to gradually re-mould my mindset around the role of my practice in my life. I still train for myself, but now I really have to leverage my strengths and buckle-down to stand out and make a living out of it. There is a market full of people spurting out advice without walking the walk. There’s so much mediocrity and premature productisation. Anyone can be a ‘teacher’ without really knowing what they’re doing. That’s unavoidable, because we all have to start somewhere and there will always be those with more experience… but inevitably, it causes a few issues because with so much variability it can be hard to find those who are truly dedicated to the craft. Because the information market is saturated with so much ‘sexy’ fluff which speaks to what people want to hear, it can actually be hard for prospective students to know what’s BS and what isn’t. A major principle in marketing is to actually serve an existing market, which doesn’t necessarily mean educating anyone or improving the culture.

You can do what you love, but you still have to be bloody f*ckin’ good at it if you want to make a real living. How can you support yourself during this long process before you get crazy good?There is one marketing method to overcome this which I think will stand the test of time: Be what you preach, above all else. Whatever your craft, reach a level of performance (whatever that means for you) which is so high above the norm that it demonstrates an in-depth understanding of not only the technicalities of practice but the spiritual journey that is required to stay with the process for many years. In the movement realm for instance, it is almost unheard of that someone who begins their training practice as an adult, stumbles accidentally or through raw talent into achieving certain skills (stalder press, one arm handstand, 2.5x bodyweight squat etc. etc. etc.). At this level, the fruits of the practice are too big and juicy to be ignored. The practitioner who achieves this degree of development as an adult has most likely overcome, juggled and integrated many struggles along the way. It would also be exceedingly rare for anyone at this level to have ‘gone it alone’ without both a supportive movement culture and a method. If you get here, you not only gain the respect of Average Joe but also those within the industry.

So, to sum up my important realisation in a few words (and I’ve only just arrived at this point) I’ve now accepted that physical practice isn’t just a hobby to share, but a job; a craft which I will be relentlessly pursuing for the foreseeable future. If I want to live without regrets then I have to get my hands dirty and chase some visions while I’m in this world. I’ll never be the best physical specimen nor the best businessman or writer, but I want to be seriously good at all three and build my life that way. It’s worth setting the sights high, if you can be steady and mature enough to realise that it will be a long road and that you’ll need both self-love and self-discipline (which are two sides of the same thing). For now, I’ve decided that writing comes a close second for two reasons: 1. it’s talking, not walking. 2. It’s something I can chase hard at any age. It’s easier to lose physical capacity physically through de-training and ageing, whereas writing is much less age-affected. And business is just part of the picture. Yes, it is about money. Because that’s how we exchange energy and value. It would be foolish not to be good at this, but equally foolish to let it come before the physical practice (contents of the business). So, choosing this single-mindedness has created the necessity to let go of things which I really wanted to be done with anyway (still a work in progress, with some energy leeching habits, but I’m less of an avoidant procrastinator than I used to be).

“No regrets” has meant setting high expectations for myself, to create clarity and a sense of necessity about what belongs in the picture and what doesn’t. My life with no regrets is not only an outcome but a process, which involves training or practicing productively for the next 20+ years for multiple hours most days whilst educating others, improving their lives and in-turn, reaping financial reward and living amongst the culture we’ll build together. This will require great energy management, support systems (nutrition, friends, family, like-minded culture) and a pragmatic, measured approach. In all of this, there’s been a couple key learnings for me which might also serve you in your worldly pursuits. The first lesson: you need to be clear on what you want, and honestly decide what you are willing to give in order to earn it. If you aren’t prioritising your priorities, you’re delusional about what your priorities really are. The second lesson: sometimes the best way is to need what you want and want what you need. Otherwise, you’ll be walking in circles. The third lesson: nobody ever goes as far alone as they could within a supportive culture, and changing or creating a culture requires individuals to do their bit. I would consider these to be ‘adult’ lessons because as the years roll on, it becomes more obvious that life is both short and long. We must do what we love, be here, now and live with no regrets AND do what we can to ensure that we leverage our skillsets and environment to bring value to ourselves and others.